Body bags.

Posted: February 22, 2011 in running

Apologies for any typos in this post but it’s all being done via my trusty mobile with a screen marginally bigger than a postage stamp and buttons that can only be pressed by the sharp pointy bits of partly-chewed fingernails…

I visited my folks in Devon this weekend…


… And I love that a 40 minute run from my parent’s house gives me this kind of picture. I don’t mind the fog and rain but there are usually cracking views from here… A reward from God for having made it up basically what is one huge hill from my folks’ house. Can you even tell this is a hill?

(obviously taken nearer the bottom as not yet ‘in the clouds’ )

Well anyway, as I’m enjoying my run I come across a dodgey looking man in a dodgey looking van who, upon seeing me puffing and panting running tall and strong up the hill towards him, jumps in his van and drives off! I make a mental note of the number plate and out of curiosity have a quick nosy around the layby. I see nothing of particular interest and as I’m actally running quite well, I let my childlike imagination have a rest and carry on my journey…

10 minutes later I see the same van driving back toward me in the murky fog. Deciding that he has returned to eliminate witnesses to his dodgey proceedings, I run among the trees lining the road for a while and talk into my phone. Needless to say, I was not run over or silenced by any other means (probably due to my quick thinking and careful hours of studying the ‘worst case scenario’ handbook whilst in the bathroom at home).

Too late to run back to the scene of dodgeyness to observe crimes directly myself I once more continue on my run only to be past again by the same van, now travelling in the same direction as me…

I resolve to take a photo of the van but by the time I turn off ‘the Dave Gorman podcast’ and get my phone camera ready, this is what I get:


On a par with my usual photographic excellence I think.

Anyway… Half an hour or so later, after a bit more uphillness and an equal amount of downhillness, I return to scenes of crime, now completely dodgey-white-van-free and I have a more detailed search of the area…

To my horror, in the woods to the right, I see this… !

I take a few tentative steps towards the mysterious bags hiding in the woods… I can now just about make out the word ‘pesticide’ on the side of one of the bags. So this is his game! Not some grizzly murder as I first thought, but the industrial dumping of chemicals! …

I bravely shun the urge to return at a later date with my protective chemical weapon deflecting oversuit and take this picture…

… working out that if I meet my demise, there will be some photographic record to make things a little easier for the investigating officials.

However, upon looking in the bag I discover there was actually just a small pine tree and I have to admit the only logical conclusion to this whole sorry affair…

…which is that Mr Dodgey, knowing I was onto him at the first instance and (seeing my athletic figure and obvious intellect) scarpered, returning to the crime scene (when I would be unable to run back and overpower him) to remove all the evidence of wrongdoing!

I hate to admit it, but it appears I have been outsmarted this time.

  1. abradypus says:

    Isn’t it amazing how active your imagination can be while running?

  2. runorgocrazy says:

    Brilliant I’m speechless. Very little goes through my mind when I’m running!

  3. fortnightflo says:

    Once again some beautiful pictues, and well done on stopping the wrongdoing – tallyho!

  4. jensruns2011 says:

    Great post as usual 🙂 No boring runs for you with an imagination like that!

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