Lost

Posted: November 6, 2013 in Injury, not running, running, Triathlon
Tags: , , , ,

The other day a kind gentleman at the post office informed me that I’d left my cashcard on the counter as I was about to walk out. I was grateful of course, but I had never really realised it was gone. If however you’ve ever lost something important like a wallet or mobile phone, spent ages looking for it, getting stressed about it, and THEN found it, or had it returned to you… THAT feels bloomin’ amazing right? Well this is my, “I think I’ve lost my wallet” post.

My ‘wallet’ in this case though is the effective use of my right shoulder. It’s going to take longer than I thought to look for it, and I’m beginning to entertain the possibility that I may not find it or have it returned to me. I don’t mind admitting that I’m a bit miserable about this but I’m trying to focus positively.
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I’m not a radiographer, but I’m reliably informed my Mr Consultant man that this x-ray, taken yesterday, still shows a fracture at the distal end of the clavicle. He didn’t seem overly concerned that I wasn’t pain free yet and still feels that my lumpy shoulder could settle. I have my doubts. My shoulder feels worse now than when I did it in, 11 weeks a ago, and I think my current weakness is in part due to altered bone position and therefore angle of muscle pull.
Consultant review in 4 weeks. If still in pain it will be a big shot of steroid to the shoulder, he says. I’m willing to hope.

I’m hoping that that this post will serve to remind me in future months (when I have full range of movement, no pain, and resumed all my favourite supporting activities to their pre-fracture standard) how I feel about the possibility of not regaining them.

I am thinking ahead to a time when I can play a competitive game of tennis against my son. When I can wrestle with him again. When I can reenact the famous lift from Dirty Dancing and such like, with my fast-growing dancing daughter. And, if at all possible, I would still like to take a shot at an ironman distance triathlon before I’m 40.

None of these things seem achievable right now. So if they do happen, I’d darn well better appreciate them!

In the meantime, I have to try and focus on what I can do. Running isn’t super-comfortable, but I can.
I can manage a gentle bike ride.
I can have a kick around in the park.
I can do a million and one other things I currently take far too much for granted.

People lose stuff all the time. I hate losing stuff. It’s a horrible feeling. It’s a pain. It’s a hassle.
If I find my ‘wallet’, I shall be most appreciative.
If I don’t, I need to shrug it off and remind myself of all the other things I’ve not lost.

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But I really hope I do find it.
That would be very nice, thank you.

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Comments
  1. Chris says:

    as I was about to leave the airport the other day, I heard my name being paged. I found the airport guy and he helpfully asked if I had lost something. I had no idea and did not find this guessing game very helpful. I told him I guess I had, since I was paged. Turned out I had dropped my passport in customs. I was glad to get it back.

    I’m going to have to read back and figure out what you did to your shoulder. There is something nice about spending more time hugging your kids and sitting on the couch reading to them. Wishing you full recovery, but not too soon!

  2. Lovely post. It’s important to take time to rest, heal and be grateful for what we can do. Wishing you a full and speedy recovery – a man who completes a marathon with a broken shoulder is very capable of an ironman before his 40th birthday. K x

  3. plustenner says:

    great post, you are so right, one tends to look at what you don’t have rather than what you have 🙂

  4. seesylrun says:

    I live your positive outlook even if you have a not so fun situation. Thanks for the reminder that we shouldn’t keep focusing on what is not working in our favor and focus instead on the things that are going right!! Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

  5. shazruns says:

    Ouch that looks like it might hurt. Wishing you back to dancing (dirty only), running and tennis with junior!

  6. abradypus says:

    Bones take time to heal, but I’m promised that they heal eventually. In the meantime, I’ll send over the little dregs of patience I have left and hope that you make better use of them than I did.

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