Introducing: ‘The Taperwoes’

[For maximum benefit, the following should be read in the patronising tone of a children’s TV presenter]

Hello children…

Are you sitting comfortably?
It’s time to listen with NotMuchOfaRunner

I’d like to introduce you to the Taperwoes.

Give the children a wave, Taperwoes.

*Ickle-Niggle waves*
Hello, Ickle-Niggle

*Tipsy waves*
Hello, Tipsy

*Bleugh-Bleugh  waves*
Hello, Bleugh-Bleugh

Oh… Where’s NoMojo ?

Of course. There he is – raiding the fridge in a fit of self-destructive sabotage… Come on NoMojo, say hello.

*NoMojo waves half-heartedly*

What are you up to today, Taperwoes?

What’s that you said, Ickle-Niggle? You are spending the day worrying about that intermittent ankle pain and knee twinge? That sounds like fun!

Oh, Tipsy suggests that as there is no running happening at the moment, it would be fine to drink a couple of large bottles of beer. That would be fun, wouldn’t it?

Oh dear… Bleugh-Bleugh isn’t feeling very well. He says everything is pointless and depressing and marathons are stupid and why bother doing them anyway when you are slow and heavy and unmotivated and spending time away from your family who work much harder at doing important things and haven’t spent the previous few months getting up at silly-O’clock in the morning to do 15 miles before breakfast, only to then ruin it all before the marathon by eating badly, sleeping badly and drinking badly.

You may have a point Bleugh-Bleugh, don’t you think so NoMojo?

NoMojo can’t be bothered to respond. He’s eating ice-cream.

Oh dear! Taperwoe Town is not a nice place to be at the moment. And this episode lasts another whole week.

Hey! After that, though children, the sixth series featuring the ‘There’sNoWayI’mEverDoingThatAgains‘ is going to start up… again. Do join us.

Bye bye now.

Bye bye.

Bye.

Bye.

———————

Full credit must be given to the creators of ‘In The Night Garden’, ‘The Teletubbies’, and ‘Waybuloo’ without whom this blog post would not have been possible. Full credit also to anyone who has endured an episode of the above.

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