Ok. So it’s a blatant Juneathon (exercise-and-blog-every-day) fail. Tooth infection and subsequent extraction put a halt on things for a while.

Weirdly, half my face still feels sore, painful, enlarged, etc. Not as painful as it was…. But I can’t quite smile properly and the tooth was removed on Wednesday morning :-/

I can live with it compared to how it was.

I’m at the doctor’s next week anyway, heaving recent received a text saying…

You’re getting old now. Please come in for an MOT

So if it’s still not right then, I’ll get it sorted.
I was down at the tennis courts again yesterday though and played a couple of sets while my son had coaching on the other court. Today, has been a heavy gardening day, though I’m currently taking a break, doing this, and watching Murray/Wawrinka on the telly-box.
I’ve just had a nice delivery, too.

Do you remember ‘BOUNTS’? I wrote a blog about it once. It’ll be out of date now, in the sense that it WAS amazing… But it was too amazing and collapsed under its own success. 

Let me explain…

You basically did tracked activity/sport/steps etc linked to your Garmin/fitbit/etc and you got points.

When you had enough, those points could be directly exchanged for actual monetary vouchers. I exchanged mine and got £15 sent to me a couple of years back. I guess (and this is purely a guess) they accessed these themselves through advertising revenue. 

I would have exchanged points again because I had loads of them but Bounts never had any stock to give anyone. People got upset. Personally, I didn’t. It was frustrating, yes, but it was all free. I’d not lost anything.

Except, some people had lost out. Bounts offered a premium service which did cost, but meant you earned points more quickly. Earning points quickly is kind of pointless though (pun intended) if those points can’t get you anything. 

In summary –

Bounts basically had too many people on their books, all with loads of points, all wanting to exchange them for vouchers that Bounts didn’t have.

So they changed their model. Some people, (though, I understand, not all) who paid premium, got a refund, and vouchers were no longer available. The company now offer an entry into various competitions to win prizes if you manage to complete the accompanying challenge – e.g. Run 20 miles over the month; do 10,000 steps every day for a fortnight; cycle 5 times in 30 days, etc.

To cut an already long story not a lot shorter, I won one of these competitions! 

I’d played tennis the required four times in May and along with a few other people* I won this funky tennis backpack!

…and his has this cool,  weird, dodgy-looking handle zippy thing attached to a zip pocket at the back so the racket fits in securely…. Err… Let me try and show you…

Well I think it’s quite a good, funky design feature anyway.

So… I’ve certainly not lost out by doing Bounts. I’m sorry if you have. Here’s a link anyway if you’re interested  >>BOUNTS<<

For balance. Also check out, Running Heroes (link included, but I think they might be entirely app-based now) – they also do challenge-based competition entries. I think I’ve won a pair of socks and a £20 voucher through them.

Incidentally, mentioning ‘balance’ reminded me, New Balance used to send me stuff for free to review on occasions but in my efforts to be honest in my reviews (I didn’t really think the last pair of shoes they sent me were great for running), I… Errr… Don’t really hear anything from them now**. Oooops.
*as in, other people also won a bag. I did not win other people as well as winning a bag.

**Maybe they found out only 3 people read this. That could be it, too.

Miss me? I very much doubt it.

I did exercise yesterday (day 5). 2 hours of tennis.

 In the rain.

This is as close to proof as you’re going to get…

One very wet hoodie.

It was to take my mind off my tooth. It worked…briefly…But then I barely slept last night and I ate nothing all day today (until this evening – now regretting it)

Hmmm… Just kinda looks like a regular mugshot, but I assure you, me left jaw feels like I’ve been punched. Hard. And then I’ve been forced to eat a golf ball… made of cotton wool.

No exercise today. 

Fail.

Bed. 

Sleep needed. 

Tooth out tomorrow methinks. 😦

I’m not sure if this particular area of the body has a name, but on the left hand side of my body… about 20 cm from the top of my shoulder – specifically, the bony bit where the humerus meets the scapula (yes – I know words. I know all the words)… on the lateral side anyway… where the deltoid muscle sort of makes a slight ‘V’ shape … well it does when I’m a bit slimmer… when I’m fit… and tensing it… and standing underneath a spotlight anyway… well that bit anyway… actually… hang on…. I’ll find a picture…

Image result for deltoid muscle

That is clearly not me.

I have skin on.

But that bit of the body, anyway.

Not the labelled bit.

The bit below that.

The ‘V’.

That specific bit.

That…

 

… is pretty much the only part of my body that DOESN’T hurt*

 

Today, I have developed facial swelling and toothache.  I have a dentist appt. on Wednesday anyway, so I will cope until then.

I did not go for a run today.

 

I barely did anything.

 

So… at only four days into June… I have had to use… the emergency plank!

Just 1min 30secs though. I do need to sit up from bed in the morning.

 

 

*clearly, I can still function, I am still going to work tomorrow, and I am well aware that at some point in the (probably quite near) future, I shall consider how I feel now and think, “you were lucky!”

Wasp attack? 

…Well… Not quite.

 I just wore my Garmin (GPS tracker – for the benefit of my parents) while I played tennis today and here’s the Strava screenshot…

A tennis match on Strava always looks like a wasp attack.  I covered 4.5 miles during the course today’s game.

Incidentally, I might have played better if I had actually been attacked by a wasp during the match, but I won’t go into that now. Suffice to say – it wasn’t the best. Roll on the day that my pesky tennis elbow pain is gone!
I might actually go for a run tomorrow.

Last night, my family and I stayed over at my parents’ house. They moved recently… not exactly ‘near’ us, but certainly nearer than Devon was. I miss taking moderately regular holidays in Devon now, but it is greatly outweighed buy how much more frequent our visits are when the journey is only 1.5 hours instead of 4.5!

I woke in the early hours (about 04:15) for some reason and still had my Bluetooth headphones awkwardly wrapped around my face somehow. In my attempts to remove them, I must have somehow pushed the secret combination of buttons activating the mysterious secret code and initiating those horrible words that I then heard in my ear… 

LAST NUMBER REDIAL!”

What?! No. No no no no noooo…

04:15 a.m. 

Like… In the morning?

Where’s my phone gone?!

Who did I call last?!

Thankfully (sort of) the last person I called was ‘My Mother and Father’ [so listed in my phone in order that when using voice dial I don’t say “call mum” and then have to choose between Amy’s mum, Callum’s mum, Harry’s mum, Matilda’s mum, George’s mum, Lewis’s mum, Bobby’s mum, Georgia’s mum, Robyn’s mum, etc …you get the picture]. I had called them the evening before to say I’d turned off the A1 and would be another 20 minutes.

Anyway…back to the moderately amusing anecdote… 

Well, I jumped up from my makeshift bed on the floor of the living room (the new house is a little smaller than the old one – I’d not just had a family argument or anything) and the speed at which I did so, looking for the glow of my phone,  is worthy of a Juneathon activity in itself. 

It was like a burpee on steroids. 

I eventually spotted my phone only after the house phone started ringing at that special volume that is reserved only for unwanted noises in the wee small hours of the night/morning … and I managed to turn it off within 3 seconds….But those 3 seconds felt, and sounded, like 3 minutes.

I thought I’d got away with it as I didn’t hear anyone else get up… but later in the morning, I was informed that this wasn’t actually the case. Oops.

______

Moving on… 

Come 06:30 a.m. and the boy wakes up wanting  play football! 

So naturally, we headed out for an hour to the local park to kick the ball around.

 ‘Official’ Juneathon activity done.

______

Other activities today included a reasonably long walk around a sculpture park, chasing my kids around the water-play area at Burghley House, and rolling down slight hills.

 🙂

It’s June.

Which means it’s Juneathon. A month of activity/exercise and blogging. You know…that thing where you start of saying that you’re going to be all fitness and health for a month and then manage a week if you’re lucky, before then either slinking away hoping nobody notices, or proudly announcing your failings to the blogging world, amid encouragement from all the other slackers to eat all the biscuits/cake etc.

__________
I’ve not blogged for ages. A lot has happened. 
Unfortunately one of those things has been me getting older, which results in a number of things, 

1) I’m slowing down.

2) Bits of my body are failing me.

4) I can’t remember all the other things that have happened.

3) I get a bit muddled.

_________
I recently turned 40. I didn’t have a big do. 

I thought about inviting all my friends round but they don’t really know each other so I figured I’d visit them both individually at a later date.

Instead, I took a couple of days off work in April and as my wife and kids had different Easter holidays to each other, after seeing the kids off to school we headed up into the Peak District. 

We enjoyed some lovely views and a glass of celebratory bubbles at Froggat Edge…

…and stayed over in some “accommodation” nearby…

…which, despite the completely inappropriate use of punctuation, was actually really nice. I woke up the next morning while it was still dark and treated myself to a little run along the edge, snapping few nice pictures along the way…

It was a nice birthday trip away. 

Plus we saw some cool cows we weren’t expecting. (That’s a sentence that can surely only be expressed by someone aged 40+ , right?)

___________

Physically, little runs are all I seem to be able to manage at present and have been for quite some time now. 5k …maybe 10k at a push. I can do these without too much agro. But anything more and my left achilles gives me jip. It’s just letting me know it’s there, mostly just whispering, but if I start getting cocky and try to run further/faster, it shouts at me.

To combat the reduced running (and associated weight management problems I then experienced) I’d been going to the gym a bit more instead, and was enjoying this – a regular circuit of free weights, skipping and stretches (yes….stretches…I know…get me). This was going well, until a slight niggle in my right arm became more than that. 

Long story short – it’s tennis elbow. I didn’t realise it could be this painful. I genuinely thought I’d somehow broken something. 

And now, about 4 months after I first noticed something, I can wake in the early hours and be unable to straighten my arm.

 It will go… eventually… apparently… I’m told. But it may be months….it could be a couple of years… But the gym circuit has now been cut from my routine too.

There have of course been subsequent weight management issues associated with this.

__________

Those of you who have read my previous postings may know that I’m quite ‘All Or Nothing’ when it comes to my health. If I’m being fit and active, I’m often also eating well. As I’ve not been very fit and active, my nutritional intake has also been less than perfect. 

Now as confused as I get with what my idea of ‘perfect’ is anyway… High fat/low fat, carbs good/bad, etc (and at this point I want to say, please don’t try to advise me, you will only seek to confuse me further!), what I do know is that eating the amount I have been as often as I have been, has not been great for me. 

The subsequent weight management issues associated with this no doubt aggravate my achilles issue, affect my motivation, etc, etc. So I need to do something.

____________

I still manage to enjoy the odd game of tennis. I gave this a rest for a while to see if it helped the elbow. 

It didn’t. 
And I’m not giving it up indefinitely so I’ve decided it’s a case of taking a few painkillers before a match, gritting my teeth and getting on with it!

My boy, who’s eleven (funny name for a boy, I know) and I are playing in a league match together as partners this Saturday. I’ll let you know how we do.

________

I’m not (always) daft. It’s not like I’m going to go mad and try and do 100 press ups, 100 sit ups, 100 lunges and run 10km every day or anything*…

*…I …errr… I… I  did that a couple of weeks ago…. For one day… And then couldn’t get out of bed the next morning… So that’s not a good idea people. I have done this so you don’t have to.

 Today, I have started gently. Some stretches. A few sit ups. Let’s not go mad. I’m determined too teach my daughter, who’s six (funny name for a girl, I know), to ride her bike this half-term holiday. I shall be doing that later today, too.

So there’s my update. My first Juneathon post in a long while.

 It will be all or nothing, I’m sure. Either the full month of activity and blogging or a miserable fail followed by blogging silence. 

And let’s face it, I’ve already got my excuses in.

Having recently read an article about how running while holding your phone to your ear affects your running performance, I thought it was important to share an often overlooked piece of running advice.

Do you wash your hair while running? If you do you could be damaging your chances of getting that 5k PB you’ve been chasing! 

This brief article examines the potential pitfalls…and what you can do about them!
1. Throws you off your form

Have you tried running with your arms on your head? Trying to work up a good lather. It’s tough. You need your arms to help propel you forward and to maintain good posture while running. Washing your hair can seriously alter this.

SOLUTION : don’t wash your hair while running.

2. Increasing your risk of injury

Ever got shampoo in your eyes? “Ahhhhh…I’m temporarily blinded…where’s the towel…somebody pass me the towel!” 

Now imagine that happening while trying to cross  busy road! Washing your hair while running could have severe consequences.

SOLUTION: don’t wash your hair while running.

3. Decreasing your exercise intensity

When did you last read about Mo Farah getting  a tough set of interval sessions done whilst washing his hair? Mmmm?

Nuff said.

SOLUTION: don’t wash your hair while running.

4. Making your rest breaks way too long

You can’t wash your hair inbetween hill reps, can you? By the time you’ve got home and in the shower and got the conditioner worked in are you really going to return to the peak district to finish that second rep. I doubt it.

SOLUTION: Buy a house near a hill. With an outdoor tap.

5. Breaking your flow

Can’t remember what I was going to say about this.

6. Making you skip your workout

Seriously… the number of girls I have asked if they were up for an intense interval session and they tell me that they are washing their hair instead!

Washing hair reduces fitness.Fact.

SOLUTION: just don’t ever wash your hair.


Last night I was awoken at 01:00 a.m. by a pretty girl tickling my feet.

It was my 6 year old daughter. She had a sore throat and a temperature, and couldn’t swallow very well, she told me. 

Somehow tickling my feet at 01:00 a.m. helped. 

A similar thing happened at 02:00 a.m. And then… by 05:00 a.m. she had returned but had resorted to just sleeping at my feet… The smell must have soothed her off into a land of slumber.

I didn’t get back to sleep so I feel shattered this evening and all plans of a run tonight have vanished.

Without wanting this to sound all ‘new year’s resolutiony’… I neeeeeed to get back into some sort of fitness again soon. I’ll be forty this year and whilst I do not believe this is ‘over the hill’ it certainly feels like a pretty reasonably sized undulation which I have perhaps enjoyed freewheeling down for a bit :-/

The vicious circle of ankle (including occasional Achilles) pain, reduced distance running, reduced enjoyment, comfort eating, weight gain, and increased ankle pain…. is a harder one to break than I thought.

I had been doing sone gym work to keep active but although I feel stronger, it has done nothing for my size, my ankle pain, or my running generally.

I had thought that 2017 might be the year I challenge my 21 year old self to a marathon race. My first marathon was completed in 2000 at that age and I have never run one faster since. That kind of bugged me. Bugs me. 

I ran a 10k in November at a reasonable (for me) pace but haven’t been for a ‘long run’ in ages now. I don’t think I would enjoy it. My ankle certainly wouldn’t. 

In a desperate attempt at a final fling, I might buy a buy a new pair of running shoes. But I’m still caught in that vicious circle and I’m not entirely sure how to break out of it.

So many confusing and conflicting ideas regarding what constitutes a healthy diet at the moment… I don’t know the ‘right’ answer (please don’t tell me either), but whatever that ‘right’ answer is, I know that it is not – eating an entire bag of midget gems found in the glove compartment of the car on the way home from work. Now I’m a (sort of) intelligent chap… I KNOW categorically that the answer is not that!

 
I’m not going to beat myself up here too much… But I do want to take stock, check where I am now, and move on. This is not good health-wise. Not mentally. Not physically. Something’s gotta give and I don’t want it to be my sanity, my ankle or any other body part (and there are plenty queuing up).

So I found >>this old blog post from 2013<< in which I tried to do similar and took a few measurements. I’ve summarised the main differences below but I went about it in 2013 in a much more fun way.

This is from 2013: (and 31/12/2016 updates in bold.)

Height: 5′ 10″ (178cm)      STILL 5′ 10″

Weight: 93kg (205 lb)         NOW 98kg

Thighs: R= 63cm L= 63cm NOW both 64cm
(Circumference)

Biceps: R= 38cm NOW 39.5cm  L= 36cm NOW 38cm
(Circumference)

Waist: 97cm.           NOW 102cm

Chest: 112cm.            STILL 112cm

Muffin top: 104cm.    NOW 107cm

(Muffin top = that bit above the waist where all the fat is squeezed to and due to its ageing inelasticity just sort of stays there, unaffected by gravity, like some cheap memory foam).

I’ll attempt at least a monthly update here. For my own benefit really. Maybe for the next 6 months. It’d be great to see things change and who knows, now I’ve put it out there, it might. I usually need a goal to motivate me but I don’t fancy wasting a race entry fee when there is a distinct possibly of a DNS . But even with a goal, things don’t just change on their own, I know.

I thought I’d finish with good news/ bad news…

Good news:  my wife, who really dislikes running (she doesn’t dislike me running, or running generally, she  just dislikes her running) got herself a barcode. Yes, a parkrun barcode. I genuinely never thought I’d see that happen. She fully intended to walk/jog around the 5k with younger daughter while I ran the route with older son.

Bad news: rather disappointingly, daughter (who was very excited about going at first) informed her legs were going to fall off after less than 1k and wife decided it would e too draining to try to persuade a small child who clearly decided she didn’t want to be there around the remaining 4k*. They would then have waited at the finish and watched son and I complete the parkrun, except he had decided his legs were going to fall off before we got to the 2k marker and I was in no mood to persuade a pre-teen around who had clearly decided he didn’t want to be there either. We went home early, having previously gone for longer walks to buy a pint of milk and today forfeiting our plans for a celebratory post-run bacon cob and cake.

I’m trying to think positive. Everyone now has a barcode…We could just turn up whenever (on a Saturday at 9am ) now, right?. But…I feel most disappointed for my wife really. She had been the one to suggest it, which I never thought would happen. And I know she would have felt a sense of achievement. But I can’t see her wanting to get up early on a Saturday again now, to travel for half an hour and then potentially not complete it again. Not for a while anyway.

*incidentally the whole family walked 8.5 miles around Carsington reservoir a few days later.

Skip this post

Posted: December 17, 2016 in Uncategorized

The other day  I went to the gym.

I did some skipping.

The chaps nearby stopped lifting weights…and started doing hopscotch.

:-/

Runners’ Lingo (revised)

Posted: December 7, 2016 in running
Tags: , ,

Many thanks to Darren Smith – aka ‘Runnersknees’ (@runnersknees on Twitter) for the original (and far more useful) version of the following  definitions.

If you have stumbled across my blog looking for some genuine clarification of running terms then you may want to click  >>HERE<< to find them.

ALL

This is a bit like a FALL …one of those embarrassing moments at the start of a race when you get caught up on your own feet and take a tumble) but… You pretend it didn’t happen…nobody saw you, right? It shall never be spoken of. i.e. There was no ‘F’in’FALL’.


Ballots!

A load of total nonsense.


Bling 

The noise created with every step when you leave your car key and a random coin in your pocket when you do a parkrun.


C25K

The name of the robot (like on Star Wars) that you become after doing a longer run than you have done for a while.


Cadence 

Not a brilliant post-run dance… but not a rubbish one either.


Carbloading 

Trying to squeeze extra people into your 3-door hatchback to transport your mates and their smelly kit to/from a race venue.


Chafe (pronounced ‘Chief’)

The boss. In my case – my wife.  All races must be cleared prior to the date in consultation with this person….And the master diary…The one kept next to the fridge. (The diary that is… Not my wife. I have more than one diary, but I only have one wife….And I don’t keep her next to the fridge. I don’t keep her at all in fact. But thankfully she still chooses to stay… Just not next to the fridge…unless she’s getting a drink…But then she doesn’t stay there…she just hangs around briefly.)

 

Chip Time 

Post-race food period.

Compression 

Squeezing too many races into your calendar. (The one next to the fridge)

Cushioned/Neutral Shoes 

Pretty self-explanatory really… Nice comfy shoes that are not in any of those ridiculously lurid colours that seem so fashionable today amongst those youngsters.

We’re talking a nice off-white… Or beige perhaps?

DNF (Did not finnish)

Not doing that marathon in Helsinki.

DNS 

The new sofa store from  which you are considering buying your new piece of furniture (and permanent place of future residence) following a marathon.

DOMS 

This occurs a day or two after a marathon When you have sworn ‘never again’… But it stands for ‘Day Of Marathon Searching‘ when  you find yourself scouring the internet for your next race.

Drop 

Another one of those potentially embarrassing moments when you find yourself on the floor part-way through a race. But you don’t care. You just want your teddy…And for the hurting to stop!

Electrolytes 

Now not so heavy since the advancement of microchips, processors and lithium-ion batteries, ‘electrolytes’ refers to the small items of light electronic gadgetry that can be seen on  runners’ wrists. You don’t see an electroheavy very often these days (apart from those mad people that have an iPad strapped to their upper arm during the local half-marathon!).

Fartlek 

Further than a short tlek.

Fasted 

Past tense. Describing how quickly you ran.

Fell Running

Describing how you got those bruises (see ‘ALL’ and ‘Drop’).

Field 

Really? It’s a big bit of open space isn’t it. Grass or corn and stuff. Mostly found in country-type places.

After a cross-county or trail race, you can legitimately say,

I ran faster than the entire field.

Because fields clearly cannot run at all.

Foot Striking 

An attractive foot. The opposite to most runners’ feet (the latter which would be described as ‘Foot Repulsive’).

Gait 

Gait analysis is what happens on a trail run when you have to quickly calculate whether it’s one where you have to lift a loop of rope over a post, just push/pull, or flick a lever up to gain access to the other side. Comes in various forms including ‘kissing’ and ‘five-bar’.

GFA 

A violent and bloody computer game similar to GTA but for people with mild speech difficulties about stealing cars and then running away from the police. Tenuous running link contained within that previous sentence.

Glycogen 

(Glyco-gen) The knowledge that you are eating too much sugar.

Gun Time 

The period of rest, relaxation and leisure following any race in America.

Disclaimer: I am aware that not everyone in the USA enjoys shooting stuff for fun ALL the time.

HR 

Human Resources.

  1. Physical and mental capacity to complete a race.
  2. Someone to make you dinner when you get back from a race.

ITB 

This is the less well known song by the Jackson Five about running related injuries.

Intervals 

Eating overpriced miniature ice creams and chocolate in between running sets.

(Also see https://notmuchofarunner.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/my-kind-of-interval-training-day-18/ )

Junk Miles 

The distance to your nearest Maccy D’s.

KTape 

Not brilliant tape. But not rubbish tape either.

LSR 

This is every run I ever do (that isn’t a short slow run).


Majors 

Big, proper injury problems.

Mary 

An Americanism. A person called Mary. (Could also be a half-Mary. Such as Mary-Ann, Mary-Jane, Mary-Ellen, Mary-Lou, etc.) Nothing to do with running.

Maranoia 

When a well known runner (second fastest time for a British woman in a marathon after Paula Radcliffe) by the name of Mara Yamauchi is sceptical that a lot of elite runners are/were drug cheats. Mostly correctly it would seem…

“Maybe it’s not Maranoia if you’re right and loads of people are cheating.” – quote by me.

Minimal 

One of two of my friends called Malcolm. This is the smaller one.

Naked Running 

When you are used to running with a child – e.g. in a pushchair, or at a parkrun (because they are under eleven and can’t yet do so independently) but then you get a chance to run on your own with no child (Nae Kid) and can really go for a PB!

Negative Splits 

Attempting to do an extreme stretch before an event and then having to withdraw due to causing yourself a mischief. Not positive.

Neutral 

We’ve been through this: White, off-white, or beige.

Orthotics 

Small blood-sucking mites that live in your trainers.

Pacing 

Packing for a marathon you need to travel to… but forgetting something… Like the ‘k’.

PB

parkbench.  All one word.  Lowercase ‘p’.

Pens 

Like pencils but more permanent (unless they’re dry-wipe markers).

PF

20131228-073618.jpg (Answer at the end)

Polarised training 

Running with posh sunglasses on.

PR

American version of PB. parkrest. All one word. Lowercase ‘p’.

Progression

Getting really angry/violent  with other runners during a race… but getting paid for it.

Pronation

Patriotism.

Some people are prone to over-pronation. These people can be quite annoying.

PRP

Eating baked beans before a run.

Runcation

Going on holiday somewhere with the family because it’s where you want to run/race but stuff what everyone else wants to do. (This is the actual and true definition)

Runch

Self-righteously getting your running gear on at lunchtime… but after jogging around the corner, going to the cafe for 30 minutes before splashing your face with water and returning to work.

Runcommute

Legend about the Viking king of England who stayed lying in bed one morning, silently commanding the clock not to tick over to ‘Get up! It’s time to run to work!’ o’clock.

He was late for work and got fired.

Rundorphins

A myth. They can’t run. They are very intelligent and all that. Very good at swimming – obviously… Saving lost sailors at sea… blah…blah…blahh… yes, yes.  But you don’t see them completing the London Marathon, do you?

Which is weird because apparently ‘Dolphin Shorts’ are a thing.

Runfie

The normally extortionate amount of money it costs to run a race these days.

Runger

See ‘Progression’. This describes the amateur version… or mild form of irritation – pronounced ‘RunGrrrrrrr‘.

Sky Running

Running whilst watching satellite TV. e.g. on a treadmill at a gym with a million screens.

Snot rocket

It looks a bit like rocket but it’s not.

Splits

Also see Negative Splits. Can alternatively refer to a ‘wardrobe malfunction’ which depending on garment location and embarrassment level of the wearer, may or may not result in race-withdrawal.

Stability Shoes

Tiny shoes worn by people when they clean out their horses. Nothing to do with running. Ignore this bit.

Streak

How long you can go for without running.

Striking

  1. Attractive
  2. See ‘Runger’ and ‘Progression’

Support Shoe

Give me an ‘N’……… ‘N’

Give me an ‘E’……… ‘E’

Give me a  ‘W’……… ‘W’

Give me a  ‘B’……… ‘B’

Give me an ‘A’……… ‘A’

Give me an ‘L’……… ‘L’

Give me an ‘A’……… ‘A’

Give me an ‘N’……… ‘N’

Give me a  ‘C’……… ‘C’

Give me an ‘E’……… ‘E’

‘New Balance’ Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!! Woooooooo!! Yeah!!

Disclaimer: Other shoes are available. Obviously.

Supination

Expletive – reserved for occasions when you only have liquidised food to eat.

Switchbacks

What you want to do when yours is painful but someone else is moving like a gazelle.

Taper

Herbivorous animal of the jungle and forest regions of Southern/Central America and Southeastern Asia. A similar size to a pig.

Taper madness

Tempo

Describes how quickly you get cold.

#teamblue

An original UKRUNCHAT team along with team red.  These people get cold quickly.

#teamred

The other original UKRUNCHAT team along with team blue.  These people chafe easily.

Trail running

Rather embarrassing event occurring if you are unfortunate enough to experience runners’ squits during a race.

Trail Shoes

Describes your shoes after the above event.  Might be worth binning them to be honest.

Transition

The process of getting out of your warm, comfortable bed.  Not everyone achieves this.  Keep at it though. It will come.

Ultra

A planet in a far far away galaxy (possibly where ‘C25K’ originated… but many years of robotic evolution has since occured) hosting a species of humanoid creatures that want to run further than a marathon.  They appear mostly human.  They are not.

Wall

Generally located between the floor and the ceiling. To reach your ceiling from your floor, you will probably find the wall at some point.

Waves

Bye.

 

 

*The answer to he running injury question was clearly ‘Planter Fascist Eye-Test’. 

Apologies to regular readers who may have spotted a certain amount of blog-recycling containing within this piece.