Posts Tagged ‘definitions’

Runners’ Lingo (revised)

Posted: December 7, 2016 in running
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Many thanks to Darren Smith – aka ‘Runnersknees’ (@runnersknees on Twitter) for the original (and far more useful) version of the following  definitions.

If you have stumbled across my blog looking for some genuine clarification of running terms then you may want to click  >>HERE<< to find them.

ALL

This is a bit like a FALL …one of those embarrassing moments at the start of a race when you get caught up on your own feet and take a tumble) but… You pretend it didn’t happen…nobody saw you, right? It shall never be spoken of. i.e. There was no ‘F’in’FALL’.


Ballots!

A load of total nonsense.


Bling 

The noise created with every step when you leave your car key and a random coin in your pocket when you do a parkrun.


C25K

The name of the robot (like on Star Wars) that you become after doing a longer run than you have done for a while.


Cadence 

Not a brilliant post-run dance… but not a rubbish one either.


Carbloading 

Trying to squeeze extra people into your 3-door hatchback to transport your mates and their smelly kit to/from a race venue.


Chafe (pronounced ‘Chief’)

The boss. In my case – my wife.  All races must be cleared prior to the date in consultation with this person….And the master diary…The one kept next to the fridge. (The diary that is… Not my wife. I have more than one diary, but I only have one wife….And I don’t keep her next to the fridge. I don’t keep her at all in fact. But thankfully she still chooses to stay… Just not next to the fridge…unless she’s getting a drink…But then she doesn’t stay there…she just hangs around briefly.)

 

Chip Time 

Post-race food period.

Compression 

Squeezing too many races into your calendar. (The one next to the fridge)

Cushioned/Neutral Shoes 

Pretty self-explanatory really… Nice comfy shoes that are not in any of those ridiculously lurid colours that seem so fashionable today amongst those youngsters.

We’re talking a nice off-white… Or beige perhaps?

DNF (Did not finnish)

Not doing that marathon in Helsinki.

DNS 

The new sofa store from  which you are considering buying your new piece of furniture (and permanent place of future residence) following a marathon.

DOMS 

This occurs a day or two after a marathon When you have sworn ‘never again’… But it stands for ‘Day Of Marathon Searching‘ when  you find yourself scouring the internet for your next race.

Drop 

Another one of those potentially embarrassing moments when you find yourself on the floor part-way through a race. But you don’t care. You just want your teddy…And for the hurting to stop!

Electrolytes 

Now not so heavy since the advancement of microchips, processors and lithium-ion batteries, ‘electrolytes’ refers to the small items of light electronic gadgetry that can be seen on  runners’ wrists. You don’t see an electroheavy very often these days (apart from those mad people that have an iPad strapped to their upper arm during the local half-marathon!).

Fartlek 

Further than a short tlek.

Fasted 

Past tense. Describing how quickly you ran.

Fell Running

Describing how you got those bruises (see ‘ALL’ and ‘Drop’).

Field 

Really? It’s a big bit of open space isn’t it. Grass or corn and stuff. Mostly found in country-type places.

After a cross-county or trail race, you can legitimately say,

I ran faster than the entire field.

Because fields clearly cannot run at all.

Foot Striking 

An attractive foot. The opposite to most runners’ feet (the latter which would be described as ‘Foot Repulsive’).

Gait 

Gait analysis is what happens on a trail run when you have to quickly calculate whether it’s one where you have to lift a loop of rope over a post, just push/pull, or flick a lever up to gain access to the other side. Comes in various forms including ‘kissing’ and ‘five-bar’.

GFA 

A violent and bloody computer game similar to GTA but for people with mild speech difficulties about stealing cars and then running away from the police. Tenuous running link contained within that previous sentence.

Glycogen 

(Glyco-gen) The knowledge that you are eating too much sugar.

Gun Time 

The period of rest, relaxation and leisure following any race in America.

Disclaimer: I am aware that not everyone in the USA enjoys shooting stuff for fun ALL the time.

HR 

Human Resources.

  1. Physical and mental capacity to complete a race.
  2. Someone to make you dinner when you get back from a race.

ITB 

This is the less well known song by the Jackson Five about running related injuries.

Intervals 

Eating overpriced miniature ice creams and chocolate in between running sets.

(Also see https://notmuchofarunner.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/my-kind-of-interval-training-day-18/ )

Junk Miles 

The distance to your nearest Maccy D’s.

KTape 

Not brilliant tape. But not rubbish tape either.

LSR 

This is every run I ever do (that isn’t a short slow run).


Majors 

Big, proper injury problems.

Mary 

An Americanism. A person called Mary. (Could also be a half-Mary. Such as Mary-Ann, Mary-Jane, Mary-Ellen, Mary-Lou, etc.) Nothing to do with running.

Maranoia 

When a well known runner (second fastest time for a British woman in a marathon after Paula Radcliffe) by the name of Mara Yamauchi is sceptical that a lot of elite runners are/were drug cheats. Mostly correctly it would seem…

“Maybe it’s not Maranoia if you’re right and loads of people are cheating.” – quote by me.

Minimal 

One of two of my friends called Malcolm. This is the smaller one.

Naked Running 

When you are used to running with a child – e.g. in a pushchair, or at a parkrun (because they are under eleven and can’t yet do so independently) but then you get a chance to run on your own with no child (Nae Kid) and can really go for a PB!

Negative Splits 

Attempting to do an extreme stretch before an event and then having to withdraw due to causing yourself a mischief. Not positive.

Neutral 

We’ve been through this: White, off-white, or beige.

Orthotics 

Small blood-sucking mites that live in your trainers.

Pacing 

Packing for a marathon you need to travel to… but forgetting something… Like the ‘k’.

PB

parkbench.  All one word.  Lowercase ‘p’.

Pens 

Like pencils but more permanent (unless they’re dry-wipe markers).

PF

20131228-073618.jpg (Answer at the end)

Polarised training 

Running with posh sunglasses on.

PR

American version of PB. parkrest. All one word. Lowercase ‘p’.

Progression

Getting really angry/violent  with other runners during a race… but getting paid for it.

Pronation

Patriotism.

Some people are prone to over-pronation. These people can be quite annoying.

PRP

Eating baked beans before a run.

Runcation

Going on holiday somewhere with the family because it’s where you want to run/race but stuff what everyone else wants to do. (This is the actual and true definition)

Runch

Self-righteously getting your running gear on at lunchtime… but after jogging around the corner, going to the cafe for 30 minutes before splashing your face with water and returning to work.

Runcommute

Legend about the Viking king of England who stayed lying in bed one morning, silently commanding the clock not to tick over to ‘Get up! It’s time to run to work!’ o’clock.

He was late for work and got fired.

Rundorphins

A myth. They can’t run. They are very intelligent and all that. Very good at swimming – obviously… Saving lost sailors at sea… blah…blah…blahh… yes, yes.  But you don’t see them completing the London Marathon, do you?

Which is weird because apparently ‘Dolphin Shorts’ are a thing.

Runfie

The normally extortionate amount of money it costs to run a race these days.

Runger

See ‘Progression’. This describes the amateur version… or mild form of irritation – pronounced ‘RunGrrrrrrr‘.

Sky Running

Running whilst watching satellite TV. e.g. on a treadmill at a gym with a million screens.

Snot rocket

It looks a bit like rocket but it’s not.

Splits

Also see Negative Splits. Can alternatively refer to a ‘wardrobe malfunction’ which depending on garment location and embarrassment level of the wearer, may or may not result in race-withdrawal.

Stability Shoes

Tiny shoes worn by people when they clean out their horses. Nothing to do with running. Ignore this bit.

Streak

How long you can go for without running.

Striking

  1. Attractive
  2. See ‘Runger’ and ‘Progression’

Support Shoe

Give me an ‘N’……… ‘N’

Give me an ‘E’……… ‘E’

Give me a  ‘W’……… ‘W’

Give me a  ‘B’……… ‘B’

Give me an ‘A’……… ‘A’

Give me an ‘L’……… ‘L’

Give me an ‘A’……… ‘A’

Give me an ‘N’……… ‘N’

Give me a  ‘C’……… ‘C’

Give me an ‘E’……… ‘E’

‘New Balance’ Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!! Woooooooo!! Yeah!!

Disclaimer: Other shoes are available. Obviously.

Supination

Expletive – reserved for occasions when you only have liquidised food to eat.

Switchbacks

What you want to do when yours is painful but someone else is moving like a gazelle.

Taper

Herbivorous animal of the jungle and forest regions of Southern/Central America and Southeastern Asia. A similar size to a pig.

Taper madness

Tempo

Describes how quickly you get cold.

#teamblue

An original UKRUNCHAT team along with team red.  These people get cold quickly.

#teamred

The other original UKRUNCHAT team along with team blue.  These people chafe easily.

Trail running

Rather embarrassing event occurring if you are unfortunate enough to experience runners’ squits during a race.

Trail Shoes

Describes your shoes after the above event.  Might be worth binning them to be honest.

Transition

The process of getting out of your warm, comfortable bed.  Not everyone achieves this.  Keep at it though. It will come.

Ultra

A planet in a far far away galaxy (possibly where ‘C25K’ originated… but many years of robotic evolution has since occured) hosting a species of humanoid creatures that want to run further than a marathon.  They appear mostly human.  They are not.

Wall

Generally located between the floor and the ceiling. To reach your ceiling from your floor, you will probably find the wall at some point.

Waves

Bye.

 

 

*The answer to he running injury question was clearly ‘Planter Fascist Eye-Test’. 

Apologies to regular readers who may have spotted a certain amount of blog-recycling containing within this piece.

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