10k taper ?

Tapering? For a 10k? Is that really necessary?

Well, no. No, it isn’t. But that hasn’t stopped me from inadvertently experimenting with it as a tactic. Because, as previous blog posts have shown, I’m a proper science type person an’ that.

Either that, or I just generally haven’t been running much recently and now that 10k I signed up for ages ago has come around.

It’s known as a ‘pudding run’. Intended to have connotations of Christmas and because you get a Christmas pudding instead of a medal at the end.

It is  NOT called that because it is run by puddings. Except for me, that is.

I feel like a right pudding, currently. Caught in a bit of a cycle of being a bit overweight, making running harder, not enjoying running as much, not running as much (/eating all the food), being a bit overweight, etc. I decided to hit the gym a bit for some variety.

Don’t worry, I shall not bore you with tales of my reps and weights and sessions and motivational quotes and the like (yawn). Suffice to say I do a variety of things and do a few circuits of said variety. I was feeling stronger and generally quite good… until I attempted something a little beyond me…

…That ‘something’ was getting out of the car on Thursday last week.

Yes…I don’t know why I thought I was capable of exiting a vehicle on my own without anyone to spot me.  Doing so without a warm-up was clearly just sheer recklessness. The result was an initially mild ‘mmm…That twinges a bit’ that gradually intensified into a ‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to paint my toenails put my own socks on again!’. 

I don’t really know what I’ve done exactly but it’s somewhere between having my spine ripped out (like on the retro computer game Mortal Combat) and maybe pulling a bit of a muscle.

So here I am three days post-injury, and able to walk at least, but really not sure about tomorrow’s 10k. I still have hope… Especially since immediately following that, I have a tennis match to play.  That is ‘immediately after’ as in I have warned my tennis partner to expect to see mud-splattered legs when she’s serving.

If I’m honest, and I had to choose between the run and playing tennis, I’d choose tennis. But:

 1) I’m greedy and I want to do both.

2) I’m tight and I’ve paid for the run already.

3) If I do do the run and then find I cannot play tennis/walk/breathe properly, my son (aged 10) would likely do a good job of standing in for me in the tennis and I’d enjoy watching him.

I shall no doubt write a blog post next week about how it’s ALWAYS the right thing to rest an injury.

I’ll keep you posted.

Introducing: ‘The Taperwoes’

[For maximum benefit, the following should be read in the patronising tone of a children’s TV presenter]

Hello children…

Are you sitting comfortably?
It’s time to listen with NotMuchOfaRunner

I’d like to introduce you to the Taperwoes.

Give the children a wave, Taperwoes.

*Ickle-Niggle waves*
Hello, Ickle-Niggle

*Tipsy waves*
Hello, Tipsy

*Bleugh-Bleugh  waves*
Hello, Bleugh-Bleugh

Oh… Where’s NoMojo ?

Of course. There he is – raiding the fridge in a fit of self-destructive sabotage… Come on NoMojo, say hello.

*NoMojo waves half-heartedly*

What are you up to today, Taperwoes?

What’s that you said, Ickle-Niggle? You are spending the day worrying about that intermittent ankle pain and knee twinge? That sounds like fun!

Oh, Tipsy suggests that as there is no running happening at the moment, it would be fine to drink a couple of large bottles of beer. That would be fun, wouldn’t it?

Oh dear… Bleugh-Bleugh isn’t feeling very well. He says everything is pointless and depressing and marathons are stupid and why bother doing them anyway when you are slow and heavy and unmotivated and spending time away from your family who work much harder at doing important things and haven’t spent the previous few months getting up at silly-O’clock in the morning to do 15 miles before breakfast, only to then ruin it all before the marathon by eating badly, sleeping badly and drinking badly.

You may have a point Bleugh-Bleugh, don’t you think so NoMojo?

NoMojo can’t be bothered to respond. He’s eating ice-cream.

Oh dear! Taperwoe Town is not a nice place to be at the moment. And this episode lasts another whole week.

Hey! After that, though children, the sixth series featuring the ‘There’sNoWayI’mEverDoingThatAgains‘ is going to start up… again. Do join us.

Bye bye now.

Bye bye.

Bye.

Bye.

———————

Full credit must be given to the creators of ‘In The Night Garden’, ‘The Teletubbies’, and ‘Waybuloo’ without whom this blog post would not have been possible. Full credit also to anyone who has endured an episode of the above.

Extreme Tapir (Robin Hood 10 of 12)

I saw this quote the other day…

I added the picture of the knife, by the way. I don’t know how sharp it is, but it looks pretty sharp.

To follow that up, as I’m playing around with adding text to pictures in an ‘inspirational quote with an inspirational background picture’ kind of way, I give you…

There is now a little over two weeks until the Ikano Robin Hood Marathon (Nottingham Marathon) and due to my inability to correctly ‘sharpen the knife’ my training diary looks like this…

My longest training run has been 16 miles, performed very slowly and with a recovery time of… Oooooo… Only three weeks… so far.
I eventually got a physio friend to look at my left foot/ankle and received confirmation that in addition to the anterior tibialis tenosynovitis, I do indeed also have mild plantar fasciitis.
Yes folks, that was the answer to this from last week…

(planter fascist eye-test)

So…To cut a long story short….I’m getting old and I’m falling apart.
I have been doing right by resting it up to now, but I have a few exercises and have been advised to try some orthotics to help further.
There is still a chance I’ll be able to take some sort of part in the marathon on the 29th Sept but to what extent is still very much in the balance. A run/walk strategy is the best I can hope for.

A taper is usually entered into approximately two weeks from a big race/run to allow full rest/recovery after having steadily built up the miles and time spent running over the preceding months.

It is not usually entered into a full five weeks out from the big run, when miles should still be being steadily increased.

FIVE WEEKS OUT IS AN EXTREME TAPER.

NOT to be confused with an extreme tapir (cue more playing about with photos), because that would look like this…

Or this…

Or this…

Or (…and this is my personal favourite…) this…

Blog posts between now and marathon day can only go downhill now.